{"title":"New Year. Same Suspects.","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"317\" data-end=\"512\"\u003eThe calendar flips, the clock strikes midnight—and somehow, the usual culprits are still at large. Old habits. New theories. Fresh evidence waiting to be uncovered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"514\" data-end=\"834\"\u003eThis collection is for those who know reinvention doesn’t mean innocence. Clean slates are overrated, resolutions are optional, and curiosity never sleeps. Whether you’re reopening old cases or starting new ones, consider this your uniform for another year of questions, contradictions, and carefully constructed alibis.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"same-bad-habits-better-alibis-a-2026-dark-humor-crime-calendar","title":"Same Bad Habits. Better Alibis. — A 2026 Dark Humor Crime Calendar","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"649\" data-end=\"798\"\u003eYou survived last year. 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What starts as reasonable clarification turns into full-blown damage control by December.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1024\" data-end=\"1076\"\u003eThis isn’t motivation.\u003cbr data-start=\"1046\" data-end=\"1049\"\u003eIt’s plausible deniability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1078\" data-end=\"1331\"\u003eDesigned with a dark, detective-noir aesthetic, this calendar blends true-crime vibes, dry humor, and just enough chaos to feel familiar. Perfect for true crime fans, lawyers at heart, writers, investigators, or anyone who copes with humor and side-eye.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1599\" data-end=\"1776\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1599\" data-end=\"1615\"\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1615\" data-end=\"1618\"\u003e✔ True crime lovers\u003cbr data-start=\"1637\" data-end=\"1640\"\u003e✔ Dark humor enthusiasts\u003cbr data-start=\"1664\" data-end=\"1667\"\u003e✔ Writers, investigators, and over-explainers\u003cbr data-start=\"1712\" data-end=\"1715\"\u003e✔ Anyone who’s ever said “okay—no wait, let me rephrase that”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1778\" data-end=\"1894\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1778\" data-end=\"1793\"\u003eDisclaimer:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1793\" data-end=\"1796\"\u003eThis calendar will not help you beat a polygraph.\u003cbr data-start=\"1845\" data-end=\"1848\"\u003eBut it \u003cem data-start=\"1855\" data-end=\"1861\"\u003ewill\u003c\/em\u003e make your wall more interesting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1778\" data-end=\"1894\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Wire coil binding with centered 4mm hanging hole for easy flipping and display\u003cbr\u003e- Vibrant, high-quality printing on thick premium paper for bold month images\u003cbr\u003e- Matte writable month grids to allow pen or marker use without smudging\u003cbr\u003e- Two size options: 11\" x 8.5\" (matte) and 14\" x 11.5\" (glossy)\u003cbr\u003e- Includes small QR codes on the back; spiral binding and durable construction\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"14\" x 11.5\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":43928716673117,"sku":"14886711503037459469","price":41.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0702\/9646\/9597\/files\/18196986056666729359_2048.jpg?v=1767040550"},{"product_id":"light-up-a-room-dark-humor-t-shirt","title":"“Light Up a Room” Dark Humor T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"510\" data-end=\"649\"\u003ePeople say you light up a room.\u003cbr data-start=\"465\" data-end=\"468\"\u003eThey just don’t mean it as a compliment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"510\" data-end=\"649\"\u003eThis shirt is for anyone with a \u003cem data-start=\"561\" data-end=\"595\"\u003edeep appreciation for dark humor\u003c\/em\u003e and an even deeper respect for plausible deniability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"651\" data-end=\"763\"\u003eFeaturing the phrase:\u003cbr data-start=\"672\" data-end=\"675\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"675\" data-end=\"763\"\u003e“People say I light up a room.\u003cbr data-start=\"707\" data-end=\"710\"\u003eIt’s called arson.\u003cbr data-start=\"728\" data-end=\"731\"\u003eAnd they’re called witnesses.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"765\" data-end=\"1006\"\u003eThis tee delivers deadpan delivery with a crime-adjacent twist—equal parts satire, sarcasm, and side-eye. Designed to look clean and intentional (not novelty), it reads like a statement you absolutely shouldn’t say out loud… but will anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1008\" data-end=\"1130\"\u003ePerfect for true crime fans, writers, over-explainers, and anyone whose sense of humor makes people pause before laughing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1008\" data-end=\"1130\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1291\" data-end=\"1303\"\u003eWarning:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1303\" data-end=\"1306\"\u003eMay result in uncomfortable eye contact, nervous laughter, and follow-up questions you are not obligated to answer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Durable 100% cotton medium-weight fabric (180 g\/m²) for year-round wear\u003cbr\u003e- Shoulder twill tape and tubular knit reduce stretching and improve shape retention\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed knit collar and tear-away label for comfort and long-lasting fit\u003cbr\u003e- Dual printing: crisp DTF on sleeves\/inner neck and DTG for main design\u003cbr\u003e- OEKO-TEX certified, ethically sourced cotton with EU 2-year warranty\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003cbr\u003e- Do not iron\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":43928755863645,"sku":"22508459097269350025","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":43928755896413,"sku":"17449156820592479581","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":43928755929181,"sku":"26014416588060984570","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":43928755961949,"sku":"10396129167847901477","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":43928755994717,"sku":"23681984652503602328","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":43928756027485,"sku":"33229046435749448191","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":43928756060253,"sku":"56962170477608619415","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":43928756093021,"sku":"21900930040504273400","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":43928756125789,"sku":"42862580728976413761","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":43928756158557,"sku":"30138174142086977940","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":43928756191325,"sku":"17407481900531907462","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":43928756224093,"sku":"21678619170021662315","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":43928756256861,"sku":"14296993276967415540","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":43928756289629,"sku":"14256667977919189781","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":43928756322397,"sku":"55044938242610668323","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":43928756355165,"sku":"28019170239345811101","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":43928756387933,"sku":"66398105116709737828","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":43928756420701,"sku":"17970328958522224337","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":43928756453469,"sku":"33961461999639080137","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":43928756486237,"sku":"29176298750704432726","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":43928756519005,"sku":"88102369061152771280","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":43928756551773,"sku":"31096034415778423722","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0702\/9646\/9597\/files\/12783736535399108273_2048.jpg?v=1767043012"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0702\/9646\/9597\/collections\/ChatGPT_Image_Dec_29_2025_12_35_25_PM.png?v=1767029753","url":"https:\/\/thealibiroombookstore.com\/collections\/new-year-same-suspects.oembed","provider":"The Alibi Room","version":"1.0","type":"link"}