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Step into the parlor of peculiar conversations with this vintage-inspired tee. Printed in bold, distressed lettering, it proudly declares what every true crime devotee already knows: small talk is overrated, but murder documentaries are never off-limits. The design features a subtle knife motif and worn-in typography, giving it the timeless feel of an old case file pulled from the evidence locker.
Crafted for comfort and dark humor, this shirt is perfect for late-night podcast binges, armchair detective work, or those moments when you accidentally turn dinner chatter into an autopsy report. Durable, soft, and unapologetically eerie — consider this your official uniform for inappropriate timing.
• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico
Disclaimers:
• Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.
• Dark color speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the color Natural.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

"I Bring Up Murder At Inappropriate Times" Tee
$20.99 USD
Crafted for comfort and dark humor, this shirt is perfect for late-night podcast binges, armchair detective work, or those moments when you accidentally turn dinner chatter into an autopsy report. Durable, soft, and unapologetically eerie — consider this your official uniform for inappropriate timing.
• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico
Disclaimers:
• Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.
• Dark color speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the color Natural.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Size guide
LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | SLEEVE LENGTH (inches) | |
S | 28 | 18 | 15 ⅝ |
M | 29 | 20 | 17 |
L | 30 | 22 | 18 ½ |
XL | 31 | 24 | 20 |
2XL | 32 | 26 | 21 ½ |
3XL | 33 | 28 | 22 ¾ |
4XL | 34 | 30 | 24 ¼ |
5XL | 35 | 32 | 25 ¼ |
LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | SLEEVE LENGTH (cm) | |
S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 39.7 |
M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 43.2 |
L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 47 |
XL | 78.7 | 61 | 50.8 |
2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 54.6 |
3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 58 |
4XL | 86.4 | 76.2 | 61.5 |
5XL | 89 | 81.3 | 64.3 |